...100 days...

It's been 100 days since u've gone..
Many tears and anguish since then...
Miss you so much, my brother..
Hope u have a place there...the best place, the greatest, better than here..
I'm sorry i haven't had the chance to look after Carissa, and mbak Ipung..tried to call everytime i had the chance though
I really wish they could stay here, in Malang
Carissa is a copy of you..seeing her, just like seeing you..
The curly hair, that big eyes..
Oh Thank God for giving her as your legacy...

Wish you well there..we'll always pray for you bro, everyday.. everytime...
Love u always...

..untitled..

Felt so lost..so confused..so tired and hopeless..
Have u ever felt like u've done everything u can, but still it's been considered not enough..?
Have u ever felt like hoping, dreaming..and one day u wake-up with the reality that's far beyond your dream..?
Sometimes i get tired,of walking..hoping..dreaming..having faith that i would make it someday..
But i can't give up, i won't give up !!
Dream and hope kept us alive..and only faith could give us the strength to reach it..
Pray to God, and it shall be given to you..

..what's happening to me..

Felt so lost...so empty..
Don't know how to hang on..don't know how i can stand up again..
I've lost my spirit.. I've been walking without knowing where to go..what to do..
This is so hard...
Instead of gaining 10 pounds (as i expected), I probably lost 10 pounds of my weight now..
And my health are beginning to decrease rapidly..
Please God..help me..

..workaholic..?

Seumur-umur, baru kali ni pulang kantor jam 2 pagi..bikin report, fixing things that wasn't even my fault at all..and now i have to go back to the office cause they need me again..holyfield..!!!

..untitled..

Sad..broken..falling into pieces..
I know things will never be the same again..
From the first time u put that song as ur ringtone, i know things will change..
It's like a time-bomb..i knew it coming, but i'm never ready..i'll need time to recover, to get it over with..

..getting by..

New desk..new tasks..new responsibilities..
I've learned it, nothing new actually..but still, i had difficulties of doing it now, cause i'm alone..i have no partner in handling those never ending task..
Still need some time to adapt with this new duty, hope i can handle it soon..so help me God..

311 - Love Song

I love this song..
Everytime i heard this song, my heart jumps a bit.. Got carried by the rhythm, the lyrics..
It always reminds me of someone who meant so much for me..i miss him..don't know if he felt it too..

..unforgettable Valentine..

For the first time in my life, in Valentine's day, i wasn't alone..
Actually, it wasn't a very big deal..ever since i had a lover, i always spent time alone,at home,watching TV..haha..
But this year is different.. I hang-out with my girl friends,share our joy and laughter, shopping together, like any other day when we shop together, but it was a great time, cause i'm not alone..and especially cause one of them is leaving Malang soon,and i don't know if we can ever hang-out together again..
I will miss those moments..

...sick and tired...

Lagi jenuh di kantor, lagi eneg sama yang namanya urusan kantor..
Aku benci banget disuruh centil2an, dandan, full make-up all the time..emang ga boleh klo udh sore, dah malem, trus aku males dandan lagi ? orang cuma dgn beberapa gelintir orang di kantor, so what gtu loh.. ?
Anyway...i'm beginning to feel overload with the job...so many things to do, so little time..aku hanya bisa berharap aku bisa ngerjain smuanya tepat waktu, tanpa membuat diriku tepar lagi..
Please help me God...

Finally...

Akhirnyaaaaa.....aku bisa berlibur..walopun sedikit maksa (baca : melarikan diri dari kantor), diburu waktu, dan capek, but i'm very happy.. :)
Bayangin aj, berangkat naik kereta, nyampe Jkt pagi, sore berangkat ke Bandung nginep sana, besoknya jalan2 bentar trus sore dah balik ke Jkt lagi hanya untuk ngejar pesawat..hehe.. Liburan di jalan deh ceritanya.
Seandainya aku bisa extend waktu liburannya, i would be much more happier..
Beneran, belom puas deh jalan2nya.. So many things to do, so little time.
But at least i can meet my best friends again, one special person to be exact.. :)
Hope i can go there next time.. :)
Or maybe to other destination...Jogja ? Hayuuuuuuuukkk.... :D

HuJaN....-> BaNjiR... ????

Hujan....sebuah berkah di tengah kekeringan..
Tapi namanya manusia, banyak maunya....dikasi hujan, ngomel kalo kehujanan atau banjir..
Ngga ada hujan, bingung dan nangis2 karena tanahnya jadi kering...hufuffhhh....
Sebenernya kan yg penting gimana kita me-manage berkah yang diberikan kepada kita. Kalo pas ujan, ya dibenerin drainasenya, biar ngga banjir, biar air hujan bisa dimanfaatkan klo nanti pas musim kemarau..
Tapi di Indonesia rasanya itu suatu hil yang mustahal..
Dari ibukota negara smpe ibukota kecamatan aja bisa banjir....apa kata dunia.. ?? hihihihihi....

Look into your heart

Banyak yang bilang, untuk memutuskan sesuatu, carilah jawabannya dari dalam hatimu..
Look into your heart....Do what your heart tells you..
Jangan hanya dipikir dengan logika, rasio..
Is that simple ? For me, it isn't....
Sebenernya sih gampang aja, aku tahu apa yang kuinginkan, aku tahu isi hatiku. Aku bisa memilih untuk menjalaninya.
But I can't.......
It would be too selfish for me...berarti aku tidak mempedulikan kebahagiaan keluargaku, orang tuaku...padahal mereka sudah berbuat banyak untukku..they're the ones i turn to..
So naive, huh ?

..restless...

I can't sleep well these past few days.
Suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, cause i had nightmares, or just because i heard a hint of sound, vibration from my cellphone..
And it always happens in the middle of the night !! huffhhh.......
Don't know..i can't seem to shut my mind. There's a lot of things going on in my head, things that i shouldn't have worried about (maybe..)
Perhaps it's because of his assignment..or my own new assignment in frontliner...
Yup, i'm back in cashier again. So stressful.. :(
But then again, this is my bad habit...worrying things too much..